


Oops!

by eeyore9990



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, M/M, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-10
Updated: 2006-05-10
Packaged: 2018-05-17 13:38:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5871685
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eeyore9990/pseuds/eeyore9990
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry and Draco have a little problem while playing with a new toy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oops!

Draco entered the kitchen of the small country house he shared with Harry, a smug expression on his face, clutching a non-descript black plastic bag behind his back. 

Harry stood at the cooker, face glistening a bit as he bent over the pot of spaghetti sauce, sniffing at the aroma, his brow scrunched as he tried to determine which spice he needed to add. He was completely oblivious to the entrance of his lover and life-mate, which suited Draco just fine. It was always a particular delight to surprise the brunet.

He slid into position behind the slightly shorter man and, without making a sound to give away his presence, used the very tip of his tongue to smooth along the corded muscle running the length of Harry’s neck. Harry snapped to attention so quickly, the wooden spoon he was holding went flying, spattering the bright lemony walls with fragrant sauce. 

Draco grinned and pressed forward into Harry’s suddenly responsive body, grinding his hips just so to wring a mewling sound from his husband. 

“Severus,” Harry gasped out, fighting back a laugh, “Draco will be home any moment. We can’t let him catch us like this.”

Draco growled and bit at Harry’s earlobe. “Damn, Harry. I love the old man, but did you have to bring him up? Talk about a mood killer.”

Harry gave a throaty laugh and turned in Draco’s arms. “You should have told me you were going to be early, love. I haven’t put the spaghetti on yet and the bread still has to be sliced and buttered.”

“The only thing I’m interested in nibbling on at the moment is you,” Draco replied, eyelids lowering to half-mast as he gave his husband his best sultry look. He knew he wouldn’t have to do much convincing to get Harry out of the kitchen and into the bed. 

Harry, noting **the look** , felt his lips curve into a come-hither smile. He wrapped his arms and legs around his own personal sex god and proceeded to snog the daylights out of him. 

Draco became so wrapped in the kiss that he completely forgot about the package he’d been carrying, dropping it with a loud _crack_ to the tile floor. He pulled back from the plump lips he’d been glued to and swore a blue streak. Easing Harry back to his feet, he stooped to pick up the package.

Harry, who’d been having a lovely time in Draco’s arms and was a bit put-off at having their kiss disturbed, looked down at the blond haired man kneeling at his feet in frustrated bewilderment. “What on earth were you carrying?”

“I left the office early to pick up a gift for your birthday that I special ordered several weeks ago. This was it. Gods, I hope it’s ok,” Draco muttered, opening the bag a tiny bit to see the extent of the damage dropping the item had done to it.

“What is it?” Harry asked, as always childishly excited at receiving gifts. 

Draco grinned, relieved to see the gift was apparently unharmed, and said, “You know the rule. No opening of gifts ‘til midnight. It’s tradition, and it _will_ be observed.” 

Harry pouted, purposefully extending his lower lip enough to be ridiculous. Draco laughed and held the bag high over his head where the brunet would never be able to reach it. Harry reached out a hand and lightly ran it over Draco’s ribs, causing the other man to drop his arms quickly in a protective gesture as his laughter turned to gurgling. 

“Stop, Harry,” he gasped out, shying from the hands bedevilling him. “It’s unfair enough that I’m ticklish and you’re not. You shouldn’t take advantage of the situation.”

Harry simply smiled and retrieved his spoon, rinsing it under the tap as he directed his husband to put away the gift if he wasn’t going to give it to him yet. While Draco went in search of a good hiding place, he tipped a bit more oregano into the sauce. After satisfying himself that it was finally perfect, he set the flame under the pot to a low setting, allowing the sauce to simmer while he prepared the rest of the meal. 

He pulled the fresh pasta from the refrigerator, dropping it into a pot of boiling water for a few minutes to cook while he set a knife to magically slicing and buttering the loaf of Italian bread. In short order he was pouring the pasta into a colander, and rinsing it with cool water to stop it from cooking itself into a clumpy mess. He added a bit of olive oil and tossed it before setting the lot to the side. 

The rest of the preparations went quickly and he finally set the table for a romantic candle-lit dinner. Draco came back into the kitchen just in time to pull the bread from the cooker and grab the tossed salad from the ‘fridge. Harry filled two wine glasses with a nice red wine and the men shared the events of their respective days as they ate their lovingly prepared meal.

Once the plates were cleared and the dishwasher running—Harry had talked Draco into a home filled with time-saving Muggle devices—the men lounged on the sofa, Harry’s head in Draco’s lap while they watched their favourite programmes. Draco ran his fingers through Harry’s thick hair, loving the way it slid so sensuously across his skin. Harry twisted his head into the touch of those magical fingers, his scalp tingling as desire spread slowly through his body.

“Draco,” he breathed huskily, “I think it’s time for you to take me to bed.”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Draco replied with a leer, throwing his husband over his shoulder and carrying him into the bedroom, placing the occasional smack on the firmly sculpted buttocks he loved so well.

“Hey!” Harry protested. “Stop spanking me! You know that’s just distracting for me.”

“Sorry, love. I’m just getting practice for tomorrow. After all, you’re going to be _thirty_ …that’s a lot of birthday swats for me to deliver.”

Harry growled and bit the swishing arse that had been so tantalizingly close to his mouth the whole trip through the house. Feeling the teeth sinking into his backside, Draco dropped his bundle onto the bed and jumped on top of him, momentarily knocking the breath from his lungs.

“Hi, lover,” he murmured, lowering his head to capture Harry’s mouth in a slow, heated kiss. He spent several minutes lazily exploring the depths of his partner’s mouth before moving on to map out the rest of the firmly muscled body. This was truly his favourite part of lovemaking: the rediscovery of all the erogenous zones on the beautiful man spread out before him.

Sitting up, he eased the thin material of Harry’s tee shirt over his head, throwing it to the side as he drank in the sight below him. He ran his palms over the slightly furred chest, lingering on the sensitive nipples that he took time to pinch and pull on. He leaned forward and swiped his tongue over the right one before biting down slightly, drawing a whimpering moan from Harry. 

Harry used his dextrous fingers to swiftly undo the buttons on Draco’s dress shirt, pulling it from the waistband of his trousers. Leaving the shirt on but open, he mimicked the actions of Draco on that man’s chest, urging a small growl from the blond. 

“Stop it, Harry,” he whispered, capturing the wandering hands into one of his fists. “Tonight is about you. Consider it an early birthday present.”

Harry smiled and tugged on his hands, placing them above his head once Draco had released them. Draco smiled in return at the sight of Harry lying open and relaxed, awaiting his touch. The total trust he saw in his husband’s gaze nearly overwhelmed him.

He spent the next half hour working his husband to the brink of insanity, using feather light touches all over his body, but neglecting his cock and arse. Harry was screaming at this point, begging Draco to take him, to touch him, to let him come. Draco merely chuckled in a slightly evil manner, tracing circles high on Harry’s inner thighs, adoring the pleading look burning out of the emerald eyes he loved so well. 

He pursed his lips and blew languidly over Harry’s length, watching it twitch and leak steadily. Finally, when Harry’s eyes squeezed shut in agony, he took pity and enveloped him whole, causing Harry to cry out in ecstasy. He clamped down on the base of Harry’s cock almost viciously, preventing him from coming too soon. He wanted to draw this out, knowing he could make Harry pass out if he could drive him high enough before he allowed him to come. 

He hummed as he worked his lover’s prick in a steady rhythm, swiping his tongue steadily over the head on the upstrokes and pursing his lips tight on the way back down. When it was apparent that Harry was about to explode, he pulled back and released him completely, causing Harry to scream his name with a hitching, breathless voice.

“Soon,” he assured his distraught husband, whose hands had moved to his sides, twisting knots into the bed sheets. Remembering the package he had secured in this room earlier in the evening, Draco muttered aloud, “It’s midnight somewhere. No sense ignoring that fact when we can be having fun.”

Harry, who was still tossing his head from side to side and biting his lip, didn’t ask questions about that cryptic comment. When Draco moved off the bed, though, he protested loudly, nearly sobbing in unrelieved frustration.

“Shhh,” Draco soothed, finding the package and quickly returning to the bed. “It’s all right, love, I just decided to give you your present early, that’s all.” 

Harry tried to collect his scattered wits, shaking with the effort it required. “I want you,” he said, voice hoarse from all the screaming he’d recently done. “Just you.” 

Draco smiled beautifully, love for his husband flashing across his features. “You’ll get me,” he said. “But first, let me show you what I got for you.” 

With a flourish, he pulled the present from the bag. Harry, who was still having trouble focusing, thought it looked like a green phallus. He blinked his eyes a few times, trying desperately to focus, since his husband was looking so expectant. He narrowed his eyes on the object once again and realized that it _was_ a green phallus.

“Wow,” he breathed, looking the item over. “Is that real?”

“Yes, love. It’s carved from jade, with the detail done in diamonds. I saw it in a catalogue and decided I must have it for you. Can you just imagine what the diamonds will feel like, rubbing against you?” Draco saw the thought hit Harry with the force of a speeding train. When Harry bit down on his lip and jerked his hips, Draco leaned forward and whispered in Harry’s ear, “I’m going to slide this in and out of you, slowly, letting you feel every inch of it as it impales you. I want to watch you twist against it, pleasuring yourself. I want to watch you come so hard the only parts of you touching the bed will be your shoulders and your feet. And when you come, I’m going to pull this out, lick you off, and start all over. And then I’m going to make love to you hard and fast, driving you into the bed over and over. If we’re lucky, we’ll break the bed tonight. How does that sound?”

Harry let out a word that sounded like “Guh,” which Draco took as permission to proceed. He took his time preparing Harry, not wanting to hurt him when he finally inserted the dildo into his husband. At last, when he was sure Harry would feel only pleasure, he began slowly inching the diamond incrusted jade item into Harry’s tight passage, twisting it now and again to allow the diamonds to scrape along Harry’s inner walls and tease his prostate.

Harry keened loudly, thrusting his hips in a blatant attempt to speed the pace Draco had established. Draco pressed his hips back into the bed, tracing soothing circles on Harry’s abdomen. He swooped down and captured Harry’s lips in a searing kiss, continuing the twisting thrusts of the toy. 

At this point, Harry was too overwhelmed with pleasure to attempt to hold back his orgasm; when he came, his whole body lifted off the bed. His anal passage squeezed down tight on the hard stone phallus Draco continued to pump. He spurted his seed over and over, in a seemingly continuous orgasm. Once he was finally drained dry, he flopped back to the bed, totally limp and relaxed.

Draco placed a soft kiss to his forehead as he began to slowly pull the dildo from his arse. Harry, even in his lethargic state, loved the way it felt as his body released it. As the diamonds continued to rub slowly against him, he still felt an incredibly full presence against his prostate. 

Draco smiled at Harry’s weak moans, enjoying the fact that he could wring these last drops of pleasure from his lover. He looked down to watch the jade toy emerge from Harry’s arse and didn’t at first notice that anything was wrong. 

Harry, watching Draco through slit eyes, wrinkled his brow as he saw Draco’s eyes become the size of saucers. “What’s wrong?” he asked, voice roughened from all the screaming he’d done. 

Draco slowly raised his worried silver eyes to Harry’s, and smiled weakly, holding up the remains of the dildo. “Oops?”

~*~

Draco dragged a totally mortified Harry through the fireplace at Malfoy Manor, clutching the ruined phallus in his hand. He was relieved to see both his father and step father currently at home, curled on the sofa reading trade magazines: _Wizard’s Investment Weekly_ and _Perfect Potions_.

“Dad, Uncle Sev, we need your help!”

Lucius sprang from the couch, wand instantly to hand. Severus merely lowered his magazine, one eyebrow cocked in question.

“No need to ring ahead, boys, come right in,” he muttered, earning him a “shush” from Lucius. 

Harry gingerly perched on an armchair, being careful to rest on his tailbone and hiding his face in his hands, leaving Draco to explain the situation. 

“We, ahh…” Draco said haltingly, wondering exactly how to say this without treading into the area of ‘too much information’. Deciding actions spoke louder than words, he held up the phallus for his parents to see. The top quarter of the jade item was missing. Lucius obviously caught on first because his normally narrowed eyes went round, he sucked in his lips, and strode quickly from the room before bursting into loud, raucous laughter. 

Hearing this, Harry moaned, the back of his neck turning nearly purple in embarrassment. 

Severus was able to hold in his laughter, but his voice was quite strained as he asked Draco, “How did this happen?”

Draco looked at the floor for a few moments, running a hand through his highly tousled hair as he tried desperately to find the words to explain without sounding like a total idiot. “Well, as you know, tomorrow is Harry’s birthday, and uhh… Well, this was his birthday present from me. While we were… you know, _using_ it, it kind of, umm, broke. A bit.”

“I assume Harry is the victim,” Severus said, shooting a look of sympathy at his stepson in law. 

“Yes, sir,” Draco replied miserably. “It’s all my fault. I dropped it earlier this evening but it didn’t appear to have been hurt, so I didn’t repair it. I thought about _Accio_ -ing the broken end from Harry, but I didn’t want to injure him.” He gestured dejectedly to the jagged end of the jade and diamond phallus in his hand. 

Lucius had recovered himself and re-entered the room during Draco’s last statement. Biting back a fresh round of laughter, he choked out, “It’s a good thing you didn’t do that. You would have torn him a new arsehole.”

Severus scowled at Lucius. “That’s enough, Luc. _You_ don’t know what kind of pain Harry is in. Making jokes isn’t helping the situation.”

Lucius flushed a bit, but nodded, duly chastened. Draco looked between the two men, having heard an undercurrent in his stepfather’s words but not understanding the source. 

“Draco, I have a quick and easy solution to your problem,” Severus said. 

Harry lifted his head and looked at Severus pleadingly, hope dawning on his face. 

“Should we just let nature take its course then?” Draco asked, furrowing his brow. That was the only ‘easy’ solution he could see as a possibility.

Harry glared at his husband and said, “No, Draco, we _shouldn’t_. Go on, Severus. Ignore my idiot.”

“What you will need to do is put it back in Harry, _carefully_ , and cast _reparo_. The two pieces will join back together and you should be able to extract it without a problem. The spell will only allow the pieces of the object you’re repairing to come together, which will protect Harry from having bits of him caught between the two ends.”

Harry stood up carefully and threw his arms around Severus, causing the older man to stiffen in alarm before awkwardly lifting a hand to pat Harry on the back. _When did I get to be the bloody mother in this relationship?_ Severus thought, attempting without success to stifle an urge to roll his eyes.

“Do it now, here, before that thing has a chance to tear you up. Use your suite, Draco, and be very careful. We’ll be here in case you have any problems, not that I foresee any so long as you remember to be _careful_. I cannot stress that enough,” Lucius cautioned the two younger men, his now-sober expression underlining his warning.

Draco nodded and carefully swept a protesting Harry into his arms to carry him up the flight of stairs to the rooms they always used while staying at the Manor. Draco shushed Harry, reminding him that climbing stairs with the jagged piece of diamond-encrusted jade inside himself could cause quite a bit of discomfort. And he knew if anything happened and they _had_ to go to St. Mungo’s or summon a mediwitch, Harry’s name would be plastered all over every Wizarding newspaper in the world. 

Arriving at their suite, Draco gently laid Harry on the down coverlet spread across the bed. 

“Love, I think the best way to do this, the least painful way for you, would be to basically re-enact what we did earlier. That way you’re well prepared for this blasted thing.” Draco glared at the phallus he was still clutching in his hand. 

Harry raised one hand to Draco’s cheek and tipped his face up so he could look into his husband’s beautiful silver eyes. “I trust you, Draco. But this time, my love, I don’t want to come until it’s you inside of me. That way, there will be _no_ chance for mistakes.”

Draco smiled wryly but nodded in understanding before stretching out next to Harry and placing the sweetest of kisses on his full lips. While the kiss started out a bit innocent, it quickly became passionate and consuming. Draco smoothed a hand over Harry’s firmly muscled torso, pulling a quiet moan from the brunet. Harry arched into the hand drawing tantalizing designs on his skin, silently begging for more.

Draco released the phallus and used that hand to stroke Harry’s hard cock, smoothing from the base up over the head then palming the very tip. He locked eyes with Harry as he brought his hand to his mouth and licked the precum off. 

“Do it now, Draco,” Harry pleaded. “I want you inside me. Nothing else, just you and me.”

Draco nodded, not trusting his voice. Harry did that to him every time. Just watching his responsive husband was enough to make him so hard he hurt, and tonight he’d gone unrelieved twice. He was going to make love to his husband this time if he had to kill someone to do it.

Draco slowly inserted a finger into Harry after whispering a quick _lubricus_. Harry whimpered and thrust his hips, finally saying, “More, Draco. Please. You won’t hurt me.”

Draco complied readily, eager to slide more than his fingers into Harry. After he’d stretched Harry enough to insert four fingers, he carefully slid the broken end of the phallus into the brunet and whispered a bit nervously, “ _Reparo_.”

Harry’s eyes rolled back in his head as he felt the two pieces merge, rolling across his prostate. “Dracoooooo. Gods, you, now, in me. Now, now, NOW!”

Draco swiftly pulled the phallus free, drawing a scream of pleasure from Harry. As soon as it was out of Harry’s body, he chucked it over his shoulder and cast a quick healing spell, just in case, before he positioned himself at Harry’s entrance. 

“I love you, Harry. Happy Birthday,” he whispered, just before taking Harry’s lips in a shatteringly passionate kiss and driving his hips forward, finding heaven in Harry’s body.

~

When Draco left the room with Harry in his arms, Severus turned to Lucius and raised one inky black eyebrow. “You _dared_ to laugh, Luc? I remember how frantic _you_ were when you did the same to me last year. Like father, like son, eh?”

Lucius merely smiled and swept his husband into a long, devouring kiss.


End file.
